This man saved my life

In a Youtube video, a user named ReasonedLogic explains his view of the issue of abuse and reports about his own experiences with a man as a boy.

ReasonedLogic writes the following in the description of the Youtube Video he posted:

“I share this because I believe the lack of rational discussion has grown intolerable. I will not reply to comments. I will not ever log into this account again. This is a one-time deal. If you address hateful messages at me, they will simply fail. If you try to report me to the FBI, they will find nothing. I am using multiple nested proxies and a browser with no flash support. The email addressed used an anonymous web-based form-submission through the same proxy. Besides, i’m sitting in my car borrowing wireless from a nearby neighborhood. Don’t bother trying to track me down. I don’t have anything to fear except persecution from people who disagree with my opinions and those who would take away my children because of my views and my past. Still, I can’t take that risk.”

Video Transcript:

Let me begin by saying a few things: First, I am not a pedophile. I am married, and I have several children. It’s for the safety of my friends, family, and most of all my children, I have concealed my identity. I am a computer security expert, and I have taken pains to ensure that my identity, and the origins of this video, is preserved absolutely. Next, let me point out how disturbed I am by the reactions to pedophilia. And the viewpoints on pedophilia video. Rather than confronting assumptions about an issue that’s woefully misguided, most people chose to respond with simple dogma, saying, “well duh, they’re children, fucktard”. And one even went so far as to threaten to sever his head. Way to go.

You almost proved his point, by being so ignorant of the issues that you simply cannot address rationally, scientifically, or empirically, and instead must resort to dogmatic reactions or threats of violence. I am not ignorant of the issue. I was, for lack of a better word, a willing victim, at the age of 10, who was taken in by a kindly man. My parents used to show me little but cowardice and malice during my first 10 years. I hated them. I hated the world, I hated myself. This man showed me love, compassion, and selflessness. At 11 he also gently, and willingly, showed me the wonders of sex. We talked about staying safe, about diseases, and we talked about society, and the lies in what people believed, and why.

It was only after this, and carefully ensuring my willingness, that he proceeded. This man saved my life, showed me love, and sent me on a course to a successful life. Even as I grew older, and he no longer found me attractive, he loved me like a son, he still held me in his arms if I needed the strength, and he gave me guidance and structure when I needed those as well. Come around, I had a girlfriend in high school, and I didn’t need his love and affection as much. It all felt very natural. Sure, my parents were there at my graduation, but my journey was not felt complete without him at my side that day. I know that there are many people hurt by these relationships and for that I’m truly sorry. I do not speak out often on this topic because I do not support the full emancipation of minors, nor them being freely accessible to men who are attracted to them.

However, I implore everyone to understand that there are two sides to every coin -– not all pedophiles are dangerous, disturbed, or depraved. Growing up, several of the most prominent figures in my life were outspoken pedophiles, and during the last twenty years, I have met several hundred. I know many of their young companions as well. We maintain friendships even across distance, and we talk openly in a way that we can’t share with anyone else. Our stories have a vast range. I’ve spoken with a few who’ve regarded their relationship as abusive and nothing more. They describe corruption(?), shame, and betrayal of trust. They thought that they were never a partner in the relationship and were a mere object. Many of these people have gone to the police and reported their relationship and find a lot of closure for that.

I’ve spoken with others who’ve regarded their relationship as merely a happening in the journey of life that has come their way at camp or a trip overseas. They regarded it as neither exceptionally beneficial, nor exceptionally harmful. But merely as a formative event. Some of these people have questioned what happened to them during the last couple of years, as dogmatic discussion on these topics grow more and more heated, especially in light of people receiving millions and millions of dollars from their abusers in years past. And these people have a lot of incentive to step forward. A lot of the ones that I know have not, because they don’t regard this as a harmful aspect of their past. There are others who regarded their past relationships much as I do, as a profoundly positive experience.

I strongly believe that during that time in my life, not being short of that depth of love and expression, could’ve got me out, out of my childhood as well adjusted as I am today. I would like to point out, that amongst the pedophiles I’ve met, the majority have never had sexual contact with a child. And those that had, rarely had a multitude of victims… I should say never. And the multitude of victims, like the strawman that needs sticks to portray (???) the ratings incite fear in your viewers, or they sell more advertising. Keep in mind, I am a vocal advocate of protecting children, but most especially from emotional and physical abuse, as research in fact shows that these are far more harmful psychological adjustments than sexual abuse in almost all cases. The next passage is read verbatim from a scientific journal, from a reputable scientific journal.

It is peer-reviewed by experts in the field of psychology and statistics. It discusses the psychological effects of these various kinds of abuse. Begin quote: “The findings (???) were 10x more important than sexual abuse in accounting for current adjustment in the college population is consistent with the result of several recent studies using objects from known college populations. In one study conducted by Ekono and his colleagues, in 1993, the researchers categorized children and adolescents obtained from large representative community samples in a small-size setting in New York state into 6 groups. These groups are: Not abused, Sexual abuse, Physical abuse, Neglect, Sexual abuse and Neglect together, and Physical abuse and Neglect together.

They found that sexually abused children and adolescents performed as well in school as the non-abused control group in all areas measured, including standardized test scores, school departments, and behavior. Neglect and physical abuse, on the other hand, were associated with poor performance and more behavior problems. Even though their study conducted by Ney and his colleagues published in 1994 (Link), the researchers separated their mostly clinical sample of children and adolescents into categories: Sexual abuse, physical abuse, physical neglect, verbal abuse, emotional neglect, and combinations of these.

They found that the combination of abuse that correlated most strongly with adjustment problems was, Physical abuse, combined with physical neglect and verbal abuse. In the top 10 worst combinations, verbal abuse appeared 7 times, physical neglect, 6 times, physical abuse and emotional neglect 5 times each, whereas sexual abuse appears only once, near the bottom. These results drive blows with the conclusion of uh…Newsky, sorry, that we presented before. Again, she studied 32 samples of college students across the U.S. chosen to be representatives of the U.S. college population. She concluded, that when taking other forms of abuse into account, sexual abuse was not related to adjustment problems.

It was instead, she noticed, maltreatment, such as physical abuse, that directly impact on future adjustments.” End quote. Another study also published in 1999 cites statistics, drawing a conclusion from more than 20,000 statistical data points. (Link) They conclude, begin quote: “For boys, sexual abuse accounts for only 0.5% of the adjustment variability, while for girls it accounted for only 1%. These small effect sizes are inconsistent with the assumption that sexual abuse produces pervasive or intense effects.” End quote. Now you have the whole picture. You have the research, you have my story, and the stories of people I know.

You also have found the stories of those who were harmed by sexual abuse, you can’t deny those people as rational as well. In the context of verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive relationships, sexual abuse can often become the focal point of all these traumas. So then it appears to the victim that sex alone had caused the pain when in reality it was just a conduit to amplify all the other negative feelings. In conclusion, there seems to be a preponderance in evidence, that both sides of this argument are wrong, sex with a child is not totally lacking in harmfulness, even in a value neutral society, I believe the (???) feeling is mistaken, in the view point that child sex is totally without… problems. However, on the other hand, it is also equally absurd, to say that child sexuality is always abhorrent and wrong.

Now this flies in the face of social dogma, and I’ll probably get a cascade of criticism for this video. But frankly, that’s my experience. My experience was positive. To deny that, is to deny me my own individual experience. I know it was right. You may not believe it, but that’s how it is.