We Should Be Able to Have the Relationships We Want

George presents his views on successful relationships between men and boys. It is particularly important to him that no money is involved.

This report is from the publication ‘Boys speak out!’ by the American man/boy love advocacy organization NAMBLA. The book can be ordered on the organization’s website.

Source: Boys speak out on man/boy love; NAMBLA; fourth (enlarged and expanded) edition; July 1996

We Should Be Able to Have the Relationships We Want

I’ve just turned 17, live at home with my parents, and am in the 12th grade in high school. I’m writing this letter to give you some idea of how young men under 18 feel about why they and men over 18 should be able have relationships if that’s what they want. I myself am gay, and I’ve been having relationships with older men since I was 12. I think I enjoy sex with older men because to me it’s not only sex. I feel the older man becomes a friend that I can go to for advice, and learn from. I believe I and my gay friends should be able to have the sex and relationships we want. This is because as long as no one is being forced to do something they don’t want to do, they should be able to have relationships with younger or older men. Age doesn’t have anything to do with committing crimes having to do with sex. It’s forced sex that should be illegal, not the love between men and boys.

Some of the things that make for good man and boy relationships are that money should never be offered for a good time. Also, neither man or boy should just want sex. They should want to have conversations, and get involved in gay activities together. Also, there should never be attitudes such as I’m better than you. Or, I just want your body. Some of the things that make for bad relationships are when money is offered at the end of sex. Or when there is hardly any talking, just sex. And also when there is no caring involved. For example, once I was introduced to a man 20 years older than me. So we went to his apartment and had sex. Well, afterwards he offered me a ride home and $20. It was good money, but it was very insulting and it kind of hurt me inside. So I left without accepting either one.

But don’t get me wrong. I have good relationships also. One older man and I became very close. Sometimes we would just go somewhere and talk, instead of having sex. That made the relationships good, and it also proved caring was involved.

It is also not always the older man’s fault, either, for a bad relationship. A lot of young men get the feeling they’re too good for everyone. They fall in love with themselves and cop an attitude.

San Francisco