No Way Out

This letter was sent to the author of the book Heimliche Liebe, Wolf Vogel. A boy asks for advice about the problems he has with his family because he’s gay and because of his relationship with a man.

Translated by JUMIMA
Original German text

“I would like to contact you today because I see no way out and I do not know what to do next. My name is Andreas and I am 13 years old and I have three siblings. I was in a children’s home from eight to eleven years of age. I’ve known for about a year that I’m gay. I don’t care about girls. My mother knows. Father shouldn’t know, otherwise he’ll hit me. My big brother teases me about it and makes my life difficult. My mother took me to the youth welfare office because my big brother told horror stories. Now she’s supposed to take me to a psychiatrist.

Now to my problems: Some time ago I met an old man with whom I get on very well. Who wants to help me. He’s already had someone with him for many years some time ago. Now the youth welfare office tries to influence my mother to report him, which she probably won’t do. But I’m afraid to be the one to blame if my friend is punished, because I looked for him and found him. With kids my age it is very bad at the moment because they just laugh at me and say that I’m ‘gay’.

Now to my questions: Where can I turn to be helped? How can I see my friend without endangering him? What should I say to my mother and siblings? How should I behave at the youth welfare office? Please write the answer to the address I gave you.”

Reply to the answer:

“I was very happy to read your letter. Thanks a lot for this. It is difficult for me to explain to my parents that I am not mentally ill. Could you write to my mother in a few lines how such feelings come about? Most difficult for me is my big brother, he is 16 years old and a liar, he makes me look bad to my mother by telling her lies about where I am. I sometimes think that my brother wants to get rid of me and I wants me to go back to the children’s home. I also have a twin brother. He is like the weather: Sometimes he helps me, sometimes he also lies. I look forward to your answer and am happy that you want to help me.”

After another answer:

“I can tell you some good news. My mother now has full understanding. My brother is also not allowed to say anything against it. I visit my friend every day. My mother doesn’t mind if I move in with him later.”