"Air Guitar"

In a letter to NAMBLA, Anton tells of an intimate friendship between his cousin and his basketball coach. He would also like to have such a relationship.

This report is from the publication ‘Boys speak out!’ by the American man/boy love advocacy organization NAMBLA. The book can be ordered on the organization’s website.

Source: Boys speak out on man/boy love; NAMBLA; fourth (enlarged and expanded) edition; July 1996

“Air Guitar”

I’m a 14- (well, almost 14) year-old boy. I recently found out about you from my cousin, R. I was visiting him in Pennsylvania. He found out aout you through his basketball coach. His coach loves him and has sucked him off a few times. He even slept over one night. Said they hugged and kissed and stuff all night long. He wouldn’t tell me what all “the stuff” was but he did show me about sucking off. Wow! I couldn’t wait to do it to him. I told him I thought he was lucky to have such a neat basketball coach. Anyhow, before I left, they were nice enough to give me a few copies of your magazine to look at and read.

I’m back home now and I can’t stop thinking about R. and his coach. I can see them together laughing and having fun all naked and everything and I’m here all alone with only me to pull my pud. That’s why I drew the picture I sent along, in order to keep me company. I don’t know maybe it’s too sexy for you to print. I haven’t seen any pictures like it in your magazine. I want to tell the readers (if you print this letter at least) that it’s a picture of another 14-year-old boy getting off on jerking his erect dick. I call it “Air Guitar” because it looks like he’s playing guitar but he’s holding his dick instead. It’s the first picure I’ve tried to draw probably since I was ten. Pretty good, huh? I want to try to take art classes in high school next year. It’s supposed to be a boy I know from the rock band I play in. I play keyboards and sing. He’s the lead guitarist. He doesn’t know I like him so much and I’m scared to tell him. I like girls some, too, but I really like Eric and I wish I could tell him about what we do in my fantasies. What I want most, though, is a man like R. has. Until R. told me about his coach over the Christmas holidays I never knew men did that with boys – I mean the way THEY do it. I thought all men who liked boys were supposed to be perverted and mean and stuff. R. says he couldn’t be happer now that he has Mr. (I guess I should make up a name) “coach”.

My question is, how do I meet a man? I thought about hitchhiking and dropping hints if I got picked up, but that’s too scary. I don’t want to get raped. I want someone who’s nice and loving to me. I thought of Big Brothers but I’ve got a father (but he’s always working) and besides I don’t think there’s one of their organizations here anyhow. At least I can’t find them in the phone book. Sometimes at the local pool in the locker rooms I try to, you know, be a little seductive, show off my naked body some, but all the men get nervous and red in the face and turn away – especially once when I was getting an erection looking at their naked bodies.

Then I look at your magazine and realize there must be a bunch of men out there who want to love me and teach me more about sex. But I sit here alone with my hands in my pants feeling my balls all alone. I know It’s stupid but I’m even crying right now. I don’t know why I have such strong feelings about all of this. I guess telling you in a letter isn’t enough. I thought it might help. What I really want is to tell one of you while you hold me and kiss me; but I’m too scared to even sign my whole name – scared some social worker might hunt me down and tell me I’m perverted. Well, I’m not. Please print my letter if you can.



NAMBLA Bulletin, vol. 12, no 3 (April 1991), p. 10.