[[Man with top hat talking to Man sitting at computer]]
Man sitting at computer: Huh-Steve Jobs isn't doing a keynote this year, citing massive weight loss due to some hormonal problem.
Man with top hat: Too bad. I bet Apple was excited about unveiling the thinnest and lightest CEO in the industry.   
{{title text: He should be better soon -- now that the Apple Store is getting rid of DRM, Cory Doctorow will get rid of his Steve Jobs voodoo doll.}}