[[Man with skateboard and gear and woman are talking]]
Man: "Why race him?" He's Captain Reynolds!
Woman: Mr. Fillion is an actor. Firefly was years ago.
[[They go over to a computer; the man is using a phone and presumably looking up a phone number]]
Woman: He has his own life to live, and I'm sure the last thing he wants to do is indulge a fan by playing Mal for him.
[[Nathan Fillion is standing in front of a mirror in a trenchcoat]]
Nathan: (into the mirror) Name's Captain Reynolds, ma'am. *ahem* Name's Captain Reynolds, ma'am.
Someone offpanel: Nathan? Telephone!
Nathan: That's Captain!
Someone offpanel: Fine, Captain Nathan.
Nathan: No, use my space name!
Someone offpanel: *sigh*
[[Nathan and the skateboarder talk on the phone]]
Skateboarder: So, how about we race for charities?
Nathan: Sure. Always did want a charity of my own.
Text between them: Come again?
Nathan: You know, boxes in supermarkets collecting food. 'Course, ought to tack up a list sayin' which wines I like best...
Skateboarder: Uh, that's not quite...
Nathan: Listen, I'm the captain here.
Skateboarder: ...I just got goosebumps when you said that.
Nathan: Yeah, happens to me too whenever I get captainy. I cut such a strapping figure. Buckle! Swash! All right, let's do this race.
{{title text: The Hammer + Captain Tightpants == Captain Hammerpants?}}