[[Randall Monroe on stage]]
Randall - Hi. I'm Randall. Welcome to my TED talk.
Randall - it's an honor to speak to you, some of the brightest innovators from so many fields, about a problem in desperate need of your attention:
Randall - How DO you end parenthetical statements with emoticons? I can't figure out a good way.
[[Screen next to him shows two statements, both crossed out in red]]
Screen - "Linux (or BSD :) would..."
 (in red) "looks mismatched"
"Linux (or BSD :)) would..."
 (in red) "looks mismatched and weird"
[[Randall writing on a desk]]
Randall's List - Conferences I'm banned from:
Siggraph 
 Eurocrypt 
 Defcon 
 Pycon 
 International Astronomical Union
 Canadian Paleontology Conference 
 Every American Furry Convention 
 American Baking Society 
 Asian Dolphin-Training Conference 
 TED
{{Alt-text:  The IAU ban came after the 'redefinition of the 'planet' to include the IAU president's mom' incident.}}