[[A man - wearing a black hat - is sitting at his computer, wearing a phone headset]]
Phone: Thank you for calling the Black Hat Support Line, your first source for Linux support. How may I assist?
Man: Hi. I'm running an Apache server, and the load keeps climbing out of control.
Phone: Okay. First, click on the Start Menu.
Man: I'm sorry, this is the Linux helpline, right?
Phone: Of course, Sir.
Man: If you'll just open the "My Documents" folder-
Phone: Just a damn minute, I think you're putting me on.
Man: Please bear with me, Sir.
Man: Now, load up your AOL and go to the Keyword "Linux"-
Phone: *click*
{{Alt: So as not to leave you hanging -- it was a problem with select() calls.}}