[[Two programmers, one with a black hat and one without a hat, are sitting back to back at two separate desks, typing.]]
No-Hat Programmer: Man, you're being inconsistent with your array indices.  Some are from one, some are from zero.
Black-Hat Programmer: Different tasks call for different conventions.  To quote Stanford algorithm's expert Donald Knuth, "Who are you?  How did you get in my house?"
No-Hat Programmer: Wait, what?
Black-Hat Programmer: Well, that's what he said when I asked him about it.
{{alt: His books were kinda intimidating; rappelling down through his skylight seemed like the best option.}}