[[A news reader sits at a desk. A graphic of the Scales of Justice floats beside her head.]]
Newsreader: Breaking news: the Supreme Court has ruled 9-1 that they don't know who this guy is or how he got in here, but he's definitely 
not
 a justice.

{{Title text: Writing for the majority, Justice Kennedy called the man's arguments that he could be either Alito or Ginsburg "surprisingly compelling, but ultimately unconvincing."}}