[[A figure approaches a sword sticking out of a rock. They grab it, tussle a bit, then successfully wrest it from its crevice. Angelic trumpets sound.]]
Aethereal voice from above: THE THRONE OF ENGLAND IS YOURS

[[Figure pulls out smartphone]]
Smartphone: Wikipedia. England.

[[Figure stares at smartphone a bit, pokes sword back into stone.]]

{{Title text: That seems like an awful lot of hassle when all I wanted was a cool sword.}}