((There's a 2D chart.))
((The vertical axis reads:))
not very worried <-- ... in real life --> very worried
((The chart itself includes the following items:))
           <---------------- Chest wound -------------->
          * ... on your right side                      * ... on your left side
 * Getting knocked out by a punch
                                           * "We need to talk."
                                                                 * Persistent cough
 * Parking ticket
                                                    * Breaking news
   * Spilling a drink on your shirt                                  * Nosebleed
((The horizontal axis reads:))
not very worried <-- ... in movies                        --> very worried

{{Title text: If the breaking news is about an event at a hospital or a lab, move it all the way over to the right.}}