30 / Ctrl-S to Start/Stop Ctrl-X to exit/ /?\/?\/?\/?\/?\/?\/?\/?\/?\/?\/?\/?\/?\ | THE DEFINATE LAST WORD ON GEEKS | | BY | | - THAT MASTER OF MISINFORMATION | | DIAMOND DAVE LETTERMAN | |RIPCO 9.5 (312)777-7262 | |RIPCO (312)528-5020 | |TREASURE ISLAND (312)964-9517 | |AMERICAIN EAGLE AE/FUR (312)685-6718 | | --->36 MEGS<--- | \?/\?/\?/\?/\?/\?/\?/\?/\?/\?/\?/\?/\?/ WELL EVERYONE HAS HAD SOMETHING TO OFF ER ON THAT SPECIES CALLED GEEK NOW ALMO ST EVERYONE KNOWS HOW TO FIND GEEKS AND LOOK INTO THEIR CRUDE HABITS , BUT WE , AS DIGNIFIED PEOPLE WILL TAKE A SCIENTI FIC LOOK INTO THE WASTE OF OXYGEN KNOWN AS THE GEEK GEEK - COMES FROM THEIR GENUS (GEEKUS) ORIGINALLY CLASSIFIED BY THEIR FOUNDER IRVING T. TURDWELL , MR TURDWELL WAS THE FIRST GEEK BUT THIS IS UNVERIFIED B ECAUSE SOME CAVEMAN WRITINGS INDICATE T HAT THE FIRST BEHAVIORAL SIGNS OF GEEKS MIGHT HAVE COME ABOUT IN THE STONE AGE OK SO LETS TAKE A SCIENTIFIC LOOK INTO THIS DIMINUTIVE CREATURE CALLED THE GEE K KINGDOM->ANAMALIA PHYLUM->MAMALLIA CLASS->HUMUS ORDER->REJECTUS FAMILY->WASTUS OF OXYGENUS GENUS->GEEKUS SPECIES ->XXXX NOW WE WILL TAKE AN IN DEPTH LOOK INTO THE MANY TYPES OF GEEKS FOUND ALL OVER THIS WORLD GEEKUS COMMUNISTUS-> THIS GEEK IS FOUN D MOSTLY ABOARD NAVAL SHIPS IN SEEING H IS REJECTNESS AND THE FACT HE IS IGNORE D HE BECOMES A COMMUNIST SPY , THIS TYP E OF GEEK SHOULD BE ELIMINATED AND THE FACT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE IS THAT CIA BACKED SOLDIGERS ARE AT THIS MOMENT WAG ING WAR WITH THE GEEKS , GREATLY OUTNUM BERED THE GEEK TROOPS ATTACK IN A HIT A ND RUN METHOD ,USING THE NATURAL SCENER Y TO DISGUISE THEIR CAMOFLAGE GYM SHOES , CHESS CLUB SWEATERS AND OTHER ASSORTE D GEEK CLOTHING, THEY ATTACK IN FORCE P INNING DOWN THE CIA TROOPS WITH DART GU N FIRE, POISON PAPERCLIPS ,THEIR OWN SN OT AND ANY OTHER ASSORTED DEVICE THEY C AN CREATE USING THEIR MASSIVE KNOWLEGE OF ELECTRONICS , THE CIA TROOPS , ARMED WITH M-16S HOWEVER ARE COMING BACK AND PUSHING THE GEEKS INTO GUERILLA CAMPS , THESE GEEK CAMPS KEEP THE GEEKS ROUNDED UP AND GIVE THEM ENOUGH LIGHTERS SO THE Y MAY LIGHT THEIR FARTS IN PEACE , THIS GEEK IS THE MOST DANGEROUS GEEK AUROUND BUT THEY ARE ELIMINATING THEMSELVES , T HE THING THATS DOING THIS IS WHAT THEY THOUGHT WAS THEIR PHRIEND , THEIR OWN M ODEMS , WHEN A GEEKUS COMMUNISTUS GETS HIS HANDS ON AN ANARCHY PHILE HE ATTEMP TS TO MAKE HIS OWN EXPLOSIVES IF HE IS NOT A GEEKUS COMUNISTUS HE BLOWS HIMSEL F UP!! TYPE II GEEKUS LIGHUS HIS FLATUS THE DIGNIFYING CHARACHTERISTIC OF THIS GEEK IS THE FLAT TO CREW CUT AND HIS BE HAVIOR OF ALWAYS SCRATCHING HIS ASS , H E DOES THIS BECAUSE HE TORCHED HIS ANUS BECAUSE HE LIGHTS HIS FARTS ALL THE TIM E , THIS GEEK USUALLY HAS ALOT OF EXPER IENCE IN CHEMISTRY BECAUSE HE KNOWS THA T SOME METHANE IS CONTAINED IN FARTS SE EING THE ADVANTAGE OF BEING THE "LIFE O F THE PARTY " HE BEGINS TO PRACTICE AND SOON IS LIGHTING FARTS ANYWHERE , AVOID THIS TYPE OF GEEK AND DO NOT ATTEMPT TO APREHEND THIS ONE DUE TO HIS HARMFUL WEAPON THAT MOTHER NATURE HAS GRANTED H IM TYPE III GEEKUS PERVERTUS THIS GEEK BEING THE INSECURE TYPE DECI DES TO ATTEMPT TO BECOME THE LIFE OF TH E PARTY BY SHOWING HOW MATURE HE IS BY TALKING OF SEX , THIS TYPE OF GEEK IS U SUALLY FOUND IN DUMPS LIKE MATURE BOOK STORES AND MANHIEM ROAD STRIP JOINTS ( IF YOU DONT KNOW WHAT MANHIEM ROAD IS J UST PICTURE YOUR LOCAL SLEEZY STRIP JOI NT , YOU'LL GET THE PICTURE) THIS GEEK IS A DEFINATE WASTE OF OXYGEN AND IS SI CK ALSO HE IS USUALLY SEEN WITH THE SLE EZ MAGAZINES DEPICTING 12 YEAR OLD GIRL S AND OTHER SLEAZY THINGS , DONT EVEN B OTHER TRYING TO ELIMINATE THIS GEEK , H E HAS CREATED HIS OWN PRISON , THE PRIS ON OF HIS MIND TYPE IV GEEKUS HOMO SEXUALITUS THIS GEEK IS GAY AVOID AT ALL COSTS IF SEEN DO NOT ATTEMPT TO APREHEND THIS BA BY JUST GIVE HIM A BURST OF UZI FIRE BE TWEEN THE LEGS THATLL PUNISH THIS GEEK FOR THE REST OF HIS MISERABLE LIFE TYPE V GEEKUS GEEKUS THIS IS THE STEREOTYPICAL GEEK EVERYON E THINKS OF WHEN THEY THINK GEEK , THIS GEEK WEARS SWEATERS ALL YEAR ROUND , DR IVES A MOPED (OR HONDA SCOOTER) , AND I S A DEFINATE ELECTRONIC GEEK (LIKE HE B UILT HIS OWN VAX) , THIS GEEK IS THE ON E MOSTLY FOUND ON BBSS ALL OVER THIS GR EAT LAND OF OURS , HE ENJOYS POSTING AN D WHEN HE SEES A "BITCH " BOARD THATS A LL IT TAKES HE MUST FIND A TARGET USUALLY HE WINDS UP TRYING TO DRUM UP ACTION BY POSTING SOMETHING TO THE E FFECT OF POSTED BY-->GEEKUS GEEKUS DATE POSTED-->06/17/85 HEY ALL OF YOU GUYZ ARE ASSH0LEZ , Y D ONT YOU ALL DIE , I CHALLENGE YOU ALL T O BITCH AT ME SIGNED GEEKUS GEEKUS USUALLY AFTER THIS POST IF HE ISNT IG NORED OR BITCHED BACK AT , HE POSTS THE SAME MESSAGE AGAIN , AND AGAIN , BUT IF IT DOES GET RESPONSE (USUALLY THE WHOLE BOARD ATTACKS HIM) .HE MUST CONTINUE , NO MATTER HOW MUCH THE BITCH BOARD BLAS TS HIM HE KEEPS GOING ON AND ON AND ON THE WAY THIS GEEK LOOKS LIKE IS IF YOUVE SEEN " WARGAMES " ( YOU SHOUL D HAVE OR YOU ARENT A COMPUTER OWNER) LOOK AT "MR. POTATO HEAD " THATS HIM IF YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT ILL TYPE THE SCENE THE CHARACHTERS ARE MR. POTATO HEAD, TH E HACKER, AND DAVE LIGHTMAN DAVE (HANDING PRINTOUT TO HACKER) HEY T AKE A LOOK AT THIS HACKER : YEA DAVE :WHAT IS THIS MR POTATO HEAD: (TAKING PRINTOUT FROM H ACKER) WHATS THIS? DAVE :MELVIN , I WANTED (FERGOT HIS NAM E) HACKER TO SEE THIS MR. POTATO HEAD : THIS IS DEFINATELY MI LITARY DAVE: BUT HOW CAN I GET IN THERE TO PLA Y THOS GAMES MR. POTATO HEAD : YOULL NEVER GET IN TH ERE THAT SYSTEM PROBABLY HAS THE CRYPTI C ALAGORYTHYM HACKER : YOU CAN GET IN THERE DAVE : HOW?? HACKER : SEARCH FOR A BACKDOOW MR. POTATO HEAD: LOOK LOOK THAT GIRL IS OVER THERE (POINTS TO GIRL) AND YOUR TE LL HER OUR SECRETS LIKE BACKDOORS HACKER: MR. POTATO HEAD!!!! MR. POTAT O HEAD !! BACKDOORS ARE NOT SECRETS MELVIN : YEA BUT YOURE TELLIN HER ALL O UR NEAT TRICKS HACKER : THEYRE NOT TRICKS (^^^ GET THE PICTURE) THIS TYPE OF GEEK IS THE BIGGEST HAZAR D TO THE GREAT WORLD OF TELECOMMUNICATI ON AND REALLY SHOULD BE IGNORED MAYBE IN TIME THEYLL JUST GO AWAY TYPE VI GEEKUS 12 YEAR OLDUS THIS TYPE OF GEEK NEEDS NO DESCRIPTION I THINK EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT THIS ONE JUST ONE THING THIS TYPE OF GEEK USUAL LY IS SO SCARED THAT HE DOESNT EVEN POS T A MESSAGE BUT WILL ASK FOR PEOPLES PH ONE #S SO THEY CAN CALL THEM EVERY DAY AND ASK THEM TO 300 BAUD TIME ZONE TO T HEM , THIS GEEK POSTS FEEDBACK ASKING FOR PASSWORDS SAYING HE KNOWS PEOPLE THAT HES ONLY HEARD OF EXERPT FEEDBACK TO SYSOP 30 LINES 39 CHARACHTERS /SE SAVES /EX EDITOR DEAR SYSOP THIS IS SUCH A K00L BORED I JEST LUV IT CAN I PLEEZE HAVE A PASSWURD I KNOW CHIEF SURGEON , APPLE BANDIT , MR. KRA CK MAN , KRACKOWICZ, DISK JOCKEY , THE WHIP , THE CLOAK , GAGETMASTER , COPY C ATTER , DIAMOND DAVE LETTERMAN , BILLY THE KID , BY-TOR , WAREMASTER ..... I RUN MY OWN BORED IT HAS .5 MEGS OF G RATE ACTION IT IS AN ABBS IT IS REALLY K00L !!!! KALL IT THE # IZ 212-555-5555 PLEAZE KALL MR SYSOP U CAN BE UZER #2 2 BYE BYE THE 12 YEAR OLD GEEK --------------------------------------- THIS GEEK HAS INVENTED GRATE (SORRY GE EK VIRUS ATTACK) WORDS LIKE K00L, <00L,KOOL,KooL kOOl , l8r,u,bore d , grate , AND TYPICAL STUFF LIKE DAT <<- FORGOT THAT ONE THIS TYPICAL GEEK IS INSECURE AND STUP ID I DONT KNOW HOW THEY MAKE IT THROUGH PUBERTY TO MATURE INTO GEEKUS GEEKUS (^^ SEE ABOVE) I REALLY SHOULDNT CLASSIFY GEEKUS 12 Y EAR OLDUS IN A TYPE BY ITSELF DUE TO TH E FACE THE GEEKUS 12 YEAR OLDUS IS A GROWTH STAGE OF THE GEEKUS GEEKUS BUT I KNEW I'D WRITE SO MUCH ABOUT IT THAT IT EARNED ITS OWN SPECIES PRESENTATION TYPE VII GEEKUS NEO NAZIUS THIS GEEK WHO IS SICK OF BEING IGNORED ON BOARDS TURNS TO BEING A NEO NAZI AND BEING REALLY K00L BY CALLING PEOPLE JE W BOY ANYONE WHO BITCHES AT HIM HE CALL S THEM A JEW AINT HE KOOL??? THERE ARE 2 TYPES OF GEEKUS NEO NAZIUS I) THE GEEKUS NEO NAZIUS REDNECKUS II) THE GEEKUS GEEKUS NEO NAZIUS I) THE GEEKUS NEO NAZIUS REDNECKUS THIS GEEKUS REALLY DOESNT WANT TO BE A GEEKUS NEO NAZIUS BUT HE IS FROM BUTFUC K GEORGIA AND BORN INTO IT , THOSE REDN ECKS GO TO BEING KLANSMEN LIKE FLIES T O SHIT(AND THATS MY OPINION ON WHAT THE Y ARE , SHIT EATING FLIES) NOW THIS TYP E OF GEEK IS ONE YOU ALMOST FEEL SORRY FOR, BUT NOT QUITE THIS GEEK IS A REAL IDIOT WHO LETS WHAT HIS MOONSHINE RIDDE N , FLY ATTRACTIN' FATHER SAYS GET IN H IS WAY OF HOW HE THINKS AND ACTS II) GEEKUS GEEKUS NEO NAZIUS THIS IS A MUTATED FORM OF THE GEEKUS N EO NAZIUS , IT OCCURS WHEN THE GEEKUS BARIN MUTATES (ILLUSTRATION) GEEKUS BRAIN (BEFORE) XXXXX XXX XXXX XXXXX XXX XXXX XX XXXXX XXX XXX # XXXX XXXXXX ( TOP VIEW) (EXCUSE THE ARTWORK) ( IT STARTED OUT AS A SIDE VIEW) NOTICE WHERE THE # IS THAT IS THE POIN T WHICH EFFECTS THE LOGICAL AND COOL TH INKING OF THE BRAIN NOTICE THE SMALL SI ZE OF IT IN SCALE TO THE BRAIN THAT IS ON WAY TO RECOGNIZE THE BRAIN AFTER XXX XXX XXX XXXX @@@ XXX XXX XXX XXXX NOTICE HOW THE BRAIN SHRINKS AND THE @@@ IS THE SPOT WHERE THE GEEKS ANTI-S EMETIC THOUGHTS COME FROM NOTICE HOW TH E GEEK HAS NO TRUE HATE FOR THE JEWS HE IS JUST USING THEM FOR AN EXCUSE TO GE T ATTENTION ON HIS HOME MADE MODEM OK WELL IVE EXAUSTED MY KNOWLEGE ON TH E GEEK RACE AND REMEMBER THE VII CLASSE S OF GEEKS , YOU MAY WANT TO KEEP NOTES IN YOUR CAR SO WHEN YOU SEE ON , IMMEDI ATELY YOU CAN CLASSIFY ONE (*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*) (*) WELL BE SEEYIN' YA (*) (*) PROF. DIAMOND DAVE LETTERMAN (*) (*) FROM THE TURDWELL INSTITUTE FOR (*) (*) GEEKOLOGY (*) (*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*) LOOK FOR HOME DEFENSE 101 FILE III COMING TO A BBS NEAR YOU (OUR GEEKOLOGY COMMERCIAL FOLLOWS) TO BE PLAYED DURING A BASEBALL GAME HI IM JODY DAVIS , THERE ISNT A CURE F OR GEEKISM YET BUT THANKS TO DAVE LETTE RMAN AND THE GANG AT THE TURDWELL INSTI TUTE A CURE MAY BE FOUND SEND YOUR TAX DEDUCTABLE DONATION TO TURDWELL INSTITUTE C/O DIAMOND DAVE LETTERMAN P.O. BOX 123123612 BUTFUCK , ARKANSAS 90230 I THANK YOU , AND LITTLE JOHNNY THANKS YOU (HOLDING GEEK UP TO CAMERA , JOHNN Y THE LITTLE GEEK SAYS "DAAA!!!") TURD WELL WORKING FOR A CURE LATER BY THE WAY THIS ALL WAS MADE UP AND TY PED OUT AS I ARRIVED HOME FROM DRIVERS ED ON THIS 06/17/85 TAKE CARE ALL BY THE WAY THANKS FOR READING THIS ,358 LINES OF TEXT AND 10,660 CHARACHTERS [TMB] Which (1-81 ?,)